


Sleep is a Four Letter Word

by Katlinn



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Angst and Feels, First Time, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-04
Updated: 2015-09-26
Packaged: 2018-04-18 23:35:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4724420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katlinn/pseuds/Katlinn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Steve's abduction by Wo Fat, Danny has trouble dealing.  The dreams are entirely too realistic, and sleep has become the enemy.  But Steve doesn't need to know all this, right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, this is the first fic I've written in god knows how long...we're talking years here. And the first I've written in this fandom. But I just couldn't get this out of my head, so I figured what the hell. I've not even come close to reading everything in this fandom, so if this story line even remotely resembles another, I apologize in advance. It's just a story I was wanting to read, couldn't find, so decided to write myself. 
> 
> Oh, and this is totally unbeta'd, so all mistakes are my own.

“NO!”

Danny’s yell echoed around the room as his eyes flew open. He stared up into the darkness, his heart pounding in his ears, as he tried to reconcile dream and reality. He was home. In his own bed. And Steve was still alive. After a moment, he flung himself over and grabbed his phone from the nightstand. Not looking at the time, nor even caring at that moment, he sent a text with shaking fingers.

-You awake?-

He shouldn’t have been surprised when his phone rang a few seconds later, but the noise startled him, nonetheless.   He took a deep breath and answered.

“A yes or no text would have sufficed.” He tried for his normal snark, but he could tell at once it wasn’t working.

“Danny? What’s wrong?” Steve sounded worried and tense.

“Yeah, sorry. I just...” he tried to keep his voice steady, but yeah, that wasn't happening. He cleared his throat, but his voice still wavered. “I just needed to make sure...” he trailed off as pieces of the dream flooded his mind.

_He drew back the canvas on the truck, peering into the darkness within. One body on the floor, as still as death. “Steve?”_

_“Target down. I repeat, target down.”_

_Though there were three body's on the floor, he couldn't take his eyes off one in particular. “Steve?” God no..._

Danny's stomach rolled, and he knew he was going to be sick. “I’m sorry. It’s nothing. I gotta go. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” The words came out in a rush before he hit the end button, threw the phone on the bed, and bolted for the bathroom.

After throwing up what little he’d eaten for dinner, Danny flushed the toilet and sat back heavily against the side of the tub. He drew his knees up to his chest and hung his head between them, arms outstretched, as the shaking started. He wasn’t sure how long he’d been sitting there, the cold tiles seeping through his boxers, when he heard his front door open.

“Danny?”

Damnit! He knew he’d have a lot of explaining to do in the morning, but he wasn’t expecting Steve to make the trip over in the middle of the night. Though again, he shouldn’t have been surprised.

“In here” he called out weakly. “And put the gun away, Super SEAL.”

Steve appeared in the doorway, gun still drawn, because...well...Steve. When he saw Danny on the floor, he dropped to his knees in front of his friend. “Danno? What’s wrong? Are you hurt?” He sounded frantic, his eyes wide as he scanned Danny for injuries.

Danny knew he should feel bad for dragging Steve out in the middle of the night, but all he could feel was relief at being so close to his living, breathing partner. But he also knew Steve was starting to freak out, and he needed to pull himself together. He took a deep breath and raised his head up, running his hands over his face. “No, not hurt. Help me up.”

Steve stood and pulled Danny to his feet. Danny staggered a little, and Steve quickly put his hands out to steady him. “What the hell's going on, Danny? You text me in the middle of the night, practically hang up on me and then I find you pale as a ghost on your bathroom floor.”

“Sorry, babe. Didn’t think you’d want the audio version of me throwing up my dinner” Danny said quietly as he leaned on the sink and turned on the water. God he wished he could stop shaking! He cupped his hands and drank before splashing the cold water on his face. He leaned heavily on the sink, taking deep breaths to try and steady himself. He couldn’t help but close his eyes when he felt Steve’s hands on his shoulders, heavy and warm through his sweat soaked t-shirt. Steve was alive. He was here and he was alive. The relief he felt was overwhelming.

“What can I do? Do we need to go to the hospital?”

Steve was starting to sound a bit panicked, and Danny knew if he didn’t explain soon, the big lug was going to pick him up, carry him to the truck and drive like a bat out of hell to the hospital before Danny could utter two words. “I’m not sick” he said as he grabbed a towel and scrubbed his face. “Just a very vivid nightmare.” And wasn’t THAT the understatement of the night?

Steve sighed and squeezed Danny’s shoulders in sympathy. “About?”

Danny looked up and met Steve’s eyes in the mirror. “You.”

****

Now that he was a little more awake, Danny was feeling like a real ass. Steve had led him to the couch and went to fetch a glass of water. The man was only a week out of the hospital, still recovering from his latest (and thankfully final) run-in with Wo Fat. Not to mention the fact that his partner had enough personal experiences to fuel the nightmares of the entire team for the rest of their lives. Probably from just his last abduction alone, though he'd never talk about it. Yet here he was, in the middle of the night, taking care of Danny like it was the most natural thing in the world.

“You really didn't have to drive over here” Danny said as he accepted the water, not meeting Steve's eyes. “I feel like a real schmuck for dragging you out of bed in the middle of the night.”

“Number one, you didn't drag me out. You didn't even ask me to come over. I came because you scared the shit out of me! And two, I wasn't in bed.” Steve sat next to Danny on the couch, close but not quite touching. “What was the dream about?”

“What do you mean, you weren't in bed?” Danny practically shouted, ignoring the question entirely. “You're supposed to be sleeping, Steven! Do you ever even listen to what the doctors tell you? Or do you just take them as suggestions.”

“I couldn't, okay?” Steve shot back. “I couldn't sleep, so I was watching tv. Which is why I answered so quickly and came to pick your ass up off the bathroom floor!”

Danny ran his hand roughly over his face. “Sorry, sorry. I promised I wouldn't nag. And believe me, I'm grateful you answered. Really. And that you're here. You have no idea. I just...”

Steve reached out and squeezed the back of Danny's neck gently. “Talk to me, Danno. What's got you so torn up?”

Danny shook his head. “Steve, you've enough to deal with. You don't need to be taking on my nightmares too.” Steve had lived through it. He didn't need to know Danny's fucked up version of it all.

“Damnit, Danny!” Okay, he was getting angry now. Not a good sign, and totally not what Danny needed right now. “How many times to I have do tell you that you're not as alone as you think you are around here? The nightmare obviously upset you enough that it made you sick. And despite what you might think, I'm not stupid. I can guess what it was about. But it might actually help to talk about it!”

Danny couldn't help but give a sarcastic laugh at that. “Talk about it? Really? You actually said that? Because when has Mr. I'mtootoughandmanlytotalkaboutit EVER shared with the class?” Well fuck. He knew the minute the words left his mouth that he'd crossed the line.

“You know what? Forget it!” Steve said, slapping his thighs as he stood up. Danny winced at the sharp noise. “You obviously don't need or want my help.”

“Shit. Steve...” Danny stood on shaky legs, reaching out to grab Steve's arm, but he shook him off.

“If you didn't want my help, why did you bother to text me?” Steve snarled without even looking back. “I'm sorry I bothered you.”

Danny jumped as the door slammed behind Steve. He stood there for a moment, shaking hard enough to rattle the ice in the glass he was still holding. Then he turned and flung the glass against the wall, watching it shatter against the plaster.


	2. Chapter 2

Steve hesitated on the walk when he heard the glass break, but then continued to his truck. He was too angry and...well, he wasn't ready to admit to any more than that. Going back in would just mean more yelling and more words that were flung out to do nothing more than hurt. He'd take the time to cool down and to give Danny some space. They'd talk on Monday. Or pretend it never happened. Which, if he was being honest with himself, was what he was hoping for. It was going to be a long weekend.

**

To say Steve was dreading his first day back was an understatement. He hadn't heard from Danny all weekend, not that he'd expected to. He knew today was going to be awkward as hell. A real welcome back to work.

Some days Danny came by to get him and some days he didn't. Usually it depended upon him having to take Gracie to school or not. He knew she'd spent the weekend at Rachel's, but he was fairly certain he wouldn't be seeing the Camaro pull into his drive any time soon.

As far as he knew, they didn't have a case. But usually they'd all show up at the office Monday morning, just to regroup and prepare for the week ahead. So after his swim, he showered, changed and climbed into his truck. He was hoping to get there before Danny, so he would be safely ensconced in his office by the time Danny arrived.

Of course, he wasn't so lucky. The Camaro was parked in it's usual spot when he pulled in. Danny was early. _Probably had the same thought as I did._ Steve sighed as he climbed out. He couldn't avoid this forever.

When he walked in, he could see the blinds on Danny's office were closed and the door was shut. Chin and Kono were at the tech table, doing God only knows what. He was lucky he knew the basics to the damn thing.

“Morning” he said as he walked over. “We have anything today?”

“Welcome back. Nothing yet. Just cleaning up the hard drive a little since we have the time.” Chin replied.

“So Boss, what's up with Danny?” Kono asked, never one to beat around the bush.

Steve tried to adopt an innocent look. “Why? What's wrong?”

Kono just gave him a hard look, and even Chin glanced up, raising an eyebrow. So much for innocent. “Look. Danny and I kinda got into it the other night. It's nothing. It'll blow over.” He hoped.

Chin gave Steve a look. “Brah, it's more than that. You haven't seen him much this past week. He's...” he shrugged. “Different. He's always the first one here and the last to leave, even when we don't have a case to work.”

“He looks like he's lost weight, and I don't think he's sleeping” Kono continued. “Ever since Wo Fat got you, he's been a wreck. We've tried to talk to him, but he just bites our heads off.”

Steve let out a heavy sigh and rubbed a hand over his face. “I hadn't noticed. I mean, he's come by the house a couple times, but I didn't notice anything out of the ordinary.” Too busy wallowing in his own misery to notice his best friend was sliding down a slippery slope. He should have been there to catch him.

“Well, you were kind of preoccupied” Chin said wryly. “Look, I don't know what's going on or what happened the other night. But you really need to talk to him.”

“Yeah” Steve said quietly, looking over at Danny's closed office. “Yeah, okay. I'll talk to him.”

Steve had no idea what in the hell he was going to say as he walked over to Danny's door. He knew he needed to apologize for the other night. He shouldn't have gotten so defensive and he definitely shouldn't have left. Danny had needed him, and he'd run. Because Danny had been right. He didn’t talk about feelings and what he’d been through. It just wasn’t who he was. Suck it up and move on. It’s how he’d been most of his life. How he had to be. It never really seemed to bother anyone before. Before Danny, that is. Danny was constantly trying to get into his head...trying to get Steve to talk about whatever was bothering him. And he’d been trying. Because surprisingly...and he’d never tell Danny this...it did seem to help. But there was a limit to everything, and some things he just couldn’t seem to bring up. He just didn’t have the words. Hell, he himself didn’t know what he was feeling half the time. How was he supposed to tell Danny?

With a deep breath, he pulled open the door. “Hey partner. No welcome back?” Glib, lighthearted banter always worked, right?

“Don't you ever knock” Danny said without looking up from the paperwork he had spread out in front of him.

Ok, maybe not. “That's my line, isn't it?” Steve said as he walked into the office. He took a quick moment to really look at his friend. Kono was right. He looked like hell. His clothes seemed slept in and he just looked...tired. Completely worn out. “So, I...uh...wanted to apologize for the other night.”

“Save it, McGarrett. You were right. I shouldn't have bothered you in the first place.” Danny still wouldn't look at him. His voice wasn't exactly cold, but it was...impersonal. It was the voice Danny used when they'd first met.

“Danny, seriously. What's going...” his phone rang and Steve let out a curse as he pulled it out. “McGarrett.” He listened as Duke gave him the details, before glancing up at Danny. “We're on our way.” He pocketed his phone as he pushed the door back open. “Come on, we've got a case.”

“Thanks, Captain Obvious. I got that” Danny said as he pushed away from the desk. “Hey. Steve.”

Steve looked back just as Danny tossed him the keys.

“Welcome back.”

**

As they drove away from the scene, the atmosphere in the car was unusually quiet. It had been a long, rough day. There had been no time for personal discussions as they were dodging bullets and chasing down low life arms dealers. Danny was favoring his bad knee again, and Steve was sporting a fresh new bandage on his arm. Thank god the bad guys were usually bad shots. They were both battered, bruised and exhausted. And the approaching storm didn't help things any.

Steve made a quick stop by the convenience store to pick up some ice and Longboards. It looked like it was going to be hell of a storm, and he figured it was best to be prepared. Living on the beach had it's downfalls, including the occasional power outage during high winds.

As he pulled up to his house, he shut off the car and sat in the quiet for a moment. Neither man moved. The wind was starting up as the clouds rolled in, and it was rocking the car slightly. Just another day in Hawaii. He wasn't sure he even had the energy to care. Not about the storm, at least. Danny, on the other hand...yeah. That he cared about. Thing's hadn't been quite right between them for a while now. The distance was growing, and he'd do just about anything to stop it. He'd lost so much in his life. So many thing's he just had to suck up and move past. But losing Danny wasn't something he was ready to do. He just wasn’t sure how to stop it.

“What about your truck?” Danny finally said, sitting up with a wince when he realized where they were. He'd been dozing against the window since almost the moment they'd driven away.

Steve shrugged. “Storm's too close. I'll get it tomorrow.” Which was true. But also not the only reason he'd driven straight home instead of back to HQ.

After another moment of quiet, Steve finally spoke again. “Look Danno, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I blew up at you, and I'm sorry I left. I shouldn't have done that.” It came out in a rush...words said before he lost his nerve.

“Steve...”

“No, let me finish.” Steve took a deep breath. He could do this. Danny deserved this. “I know I don't talk about feelings a lot. We've had this discussion a hundred times, and we'll probably have it a hundred more. But you've got to know by now that it doesn't mean I don't care. You...” his voice was shaking now, and he paused to get it under control. “You are one of the most important...no...you ARE the most important person in my life. I would do absolutely anything for you. I just...” he sighed, shaking his head. He had absolutely no idea what else to say. “I just thought you should know that.” Without another word, he climbed out of the car, grabbing his stuff from the back seat and left the keys in the ignition. It was up to Danny now.

He was half way to the front door when he heard the car door slam.

“Steve, wait.”

He turned to see Danny striding toward him, his hair blowing wildly in the wind. The first raindrops were starting to wet his shirt, making it cling to his chest even more than usual.

Without even pausing, he walked up and threw his arms around Steve. Steve staggered a bit and dropped what he was holding. He wrapped Danny in his arms and buried his face in his neck. “I'm sorry,” he whispered brokenly. “I'm so sorry, Danny.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the feedback and kudos on this! To see that there are those out there that are enjoying it makes me happier than you can imagine. I apologize for the big delay in posting the next chapter...between the holiday weekend last week and work, I just haven't had much time to write. And I keep getting distracted because I figure "oh, I'll go watch an episode so I can work on getting the voices right" and then...one becomes two, etc. lol 
> 
> I know there isn't a whole lot of substance to this story. It's predictable and cliche. But for me, it's good practice to get back into writing, and if someone can enjoy it, it's a win win situation! So thank you again for the support!

Danny sat in the seat, his heart beating rapidly as he watched Steve walk away from the car. The words Steve had said in a rush...Danny’s heart twisted again as he remembered them. He knew... _he knew..._ what it took for Steve to say those words. Panic started to set in as he watched Steve get farther and farther away.

Without thinking, he grabbed the keys from the ignition and flung open the door. “Steve, wait.”

Danny didn’t stop to think. Didn’t even slow down as he walked right into Steve, throwing his arms around him. The tightness in his chest eased as he felt Steve’s arms tighten around him and felt the rumble of words whispered against his neck. God, they were both such idiots!

“I love you, you schmuck! You know that, right?” Danny said roughly, tightening his hold. “No matter what.” He felt Steve nod against his neck and knew he’d gotten all the emotional words he was going to get out of the SEAL for now. Besides..the rain was coming down harder, and they were both getting soaked. “Come on. Let’s go get your house secure against this freaking hurricane so we can drink that beer you so kindly bought for once.”

Steve held on a moment more before pulling away. As he bent down to pick up the dropped bags, he paused to give Danny a once over. As he stood upright again, he gave Danny one of his goofy grins. “Nice look. You should try that one more often.” The he turned and quickly made his way to the door.

Danny stood in stunned silence for another minute. Did Steve just flirt with him? That look, that grin...Danny shook his head. The lack of any real sleep was fucking with his mind.

“You coming?”

Danny shook his head and followed Steve up into the house. This man was going to be the death of him. He wasn’t sure how or when, but he knew it was bound to happen.

***

They stumbled back into the house a few minutes later, dripping wet and definitely looking worse for wear. Well, he was anyway, he was sure. Steve, however, looked like a fucking Navy god, all clinging polo plastered to his chest, tattoo's peeking out more than usual against the wet skin. And only he could make a pair of cargo pants look indecent.

Danny,on the other hand...well, his hair was plastered to his head, not made any better by the fact that he kept running his hands through it. And he was limping hard, not even trying to hide it any longer. He could tell his knee was starting to swell, and it was sending shooting pains up and down his leg every time he put weight on it. Fantastic. Just how he wanted to end the day.

“Why don't you go up and find something dry to put on” Steve said as he walked back into the kitchen with the cooler he'd grabbed from the garage. “There should be some shorts and t-shirts you can wear.”

Danny followed him into the kitchen and flopped down on a stool at the island. “In a minute. Let me give my knee a rest, huh?”

Steve immediately stopped what he was doing and turned to Danny. “Is it bad?” There was that face again. The one he used when he showed up at Danny's the other night. Danny hadn't focused on it before...too worried about keeping Steve from freaking out. But now, it was a bit unnerving. The intensity made Danny want to squirm where he was sitting.

“No, it's not bad” he lied, waving his hands in Steve's direction. “It's fine. I’m fine. It's just sore from following you off a damn building! And don't you know jumping off buildings is bad for your health? Huh? And mine as well?”

Steve shook his head as he turned back to dumping the ice into the cooler. “I didn't ask you to follow me, Daniel. You could have taken the stairs.”

Danny massaged his knee as he glared up at McGarrett. “And leave you without backup? I don't think so, babe.”

“Aww Danno, is that concern I'm hearing?”

Danny knew Steve was teasing. They'd had this same running joke for years now. Almost since the beginning. But tonight...after everything that had happened the past couple weeks...he just wasn't in the right mindset to make a joke out of Steve getting hurt. He’d witnessed it enough, and lately, relived the worst possible outcomes, every time he fell asleep. He pushed himself up off the stool and limped out of the kitchen before he could say something he regretted.

“Danny? Hey, wait!” Steve grabbed his arm, stopping him in the doorway. “What's wrong?”

Danny sighed, not looking back at his partner. “Just leave it, Steve, okay? I'm going to get out of these wet clothes before I start chaffing.”

“Danny...”

Danny finally turned and looked at Steve. “Stand down, Super SEAL. I'm good, okay? Alright? Let me go change and then I'll get a new bandage on that arm of yours” he said, nodding toward Steve's newest injury. “Just quit...quit looking at me like I kicked a puppy or something.”

Steve searched his eyes for a moment before he nodded and let go of Danny's arm. “We need to talk, you know.”

Danny bit his tongue before something stupid came spilling out once again. Steve was offering to talk. This was a big thing. _Don't ruin it, Williams!_ He gave Steve a small nod. “Yeah. Yeah, I know. It's just...let me get dry and a couple beers in me first, okay?”

Steve nodded and turned back to the kitchen. “I'll make some sandwiches. We need to eat something.”

Danny slowly made his way up the stairs, cursing his knee with every step. He should have grabbed some Tylenol before heading up.

Before going into Steve’s room to riffle through his clothes, Danny stopped at the bathroom and stripped down. He toweled himself off and dried his hair the best he could before wrapping the towel around his waist. He ran a comb through his hair, but knew it was a lost cause so he didn’t fuss with it much. There was only so much he could do without product to help out.

He padded over to Steve’s room and started going through the dresser. He found an old Navy t-shirt with the sleeves cut off, and a pair of shorts that didn’t look like they’d be ridiculously long on him. The one thing he refused to even think about was borrowing a pair of underwear. Clothes were one thing. Underwear was just too...personal. Even if the thought of putting on a pair of Steve’s boxer briefs did make his stomach jump just a little. God he had to pull himself together!

After dressing, he stared longingly at the nice big bed that sat in the middle of Steve’s bedroom. He was tired. So fucking tired. He knew he would be asleep before his head hit the pillow, if he gave into the temptation. He couldn’t remember the last time he had more than a couple hours of sleep in one stretch. God knows he hadn’t slept at all the whole weekend. But he also knew what would come...what always came...so he slowly made his way back down the stairs, holding back whimpers of pain when his knee caught just the wrong way on a step down.

As he limped back into the kitchen, he noticed that Steve had managed to find some dry clothes as well, and there was a plate of sandwiches sitting on the island. Steve had been busy. The storm was still raging around them, but thankfully they still had power.

“Here. Sit down and eat” Steve said, holding out a beer in one hand and something else in his other.

“What’s this?” Danny asked as Steve dropped a pill into his hand. “Don’t you know pain medication and alcohol don’t mix? Of course you don't. Because you don't take them! You're much too manly for that, right?”

“It’s mild, Danny. Just to take the edge off. And help with the swelling. Don’t tell me you don’t need it.”

Danny sighed as he looked at the pill. He was torn. On the one hand, he’d love to get some relief from the feeling of a knife stabbing into his knee. On the other...if it knocked him out, he was going to wish the physical pain was all he had to deal with. “It’s mild? It won’t knock me on my ass in twenty minutes?”

“Trust me, Danno.”


	4. Chapter 4

“Trust me, Danno. Trust me, Danno. I should have known better, you jackass.”

Danny was sitting at the table, his head down on crossed arms. He was looking at Steve through half-closed eyes.

Steve knew he should feel bad, but he didn't. Though he'd never let on, Steve could tell just how much Danny had been hurting when he'd walked back into the kitchen a little while ago. And if there was something he could do about that, he wouldn't hesitate. He would admit though that he hadn't expected the pill to hit Danny as hard as it had. It really was mild, so for the effect it was having, it meant Danny was beyond exhausted to begin with. “Sorry. Didn't realize you were such a lightweight” Steve said with a grin as he cleared the table of half eaten sandwiches and empty bottles of beer. “Besides, some sleep wouldn't kill you, buddy.”

“No, just you” Danny mumbled as he sat up.

Steve turned and looked at him, his heart skipping a beat at Danny's quiet words. “What?”

Danny waved his hand at him. “Nothing. It was nothing. Can I get a glass of water, please?”

“Not until you explain what you just said” Steve replied, leaning back against the sink and crossing his arms.

“First you drug me and now you're going to withhold water until I talk? Really Steven? This is low, even for you.”

Danny's words had their intended effect as guilt washed over Steve. “Danny, I didn't mean...”

“No, no, stop” Danny said, cutting him off and waving his arms. “Lose the face. Please. I'm sorry. I'm drugged, exhausted and slightly buzzed off two fucking beers. I shouldn't even be talking to you right now.”

“Why, because you might tell me the truth?” Steve knew he was pushing, but he couldn't help it.

“Yes, exactly” Danny sighed. “And I don't want to do that, because I know you. And I know you will feel responsible, even if it is in no way your fault. Well, the knee is your fault, but not the other stuff.”

Steve wasn't stupid. He knew Danny wasn't sleeping. And he knew he was having nightmares, obviously. From what he'd gathered from the man himself and from Chin and Kono, it had to do with him being taken by Wo Fat. Though he wasn't sure exactly what the nightmares contained. He knew Danny, and knew his partner had a good idea of what had gone down. But Steve hadn't really talked about it with him...or anyone for that matter. Just the basics they'd needed to treat him for whatever cocktail of drugs the bastard had given him and the injuries he'd sustained.

So yeah, Danny was right. He did feel responsible. Because knowing his partner, he was coming up with the worst things he could think of for Steve to have gone through. He knew he needed to talk about it. At least with Danny. It would do them both good.

Steve pushed away from the counter and opened the freezer. He grabbed the ice pack he kept handy and then a bottle of water and a beer from the fridge. “Come on” he said, turning back to Danny. “Let's go get you settled on the couch so we can ice that knee.”

Danny looked like he was going to argue for a moment, but then nodded and slowly stood. Steve was at his side instantly, sliding an arm around his waist and letting Danny rest some weight against him.

“Steve...”

“Shut up, Danno” Steve cut him off as he gently led him out of the room.

Danny sighed and went without complaint, letting Steve carefully lower him onto the couch. The sound of the wind and rain was loud in the quiet room as Steve arranged pillows behind Danny's back and under his knee. The lights were starting to flicker and Steve wondered how long they had before the power went out.

“Here” he said, handing Danny the bottle of water. “I'll be right back. I'm going to grab the flashlights and candles. I think we're about to be sitting in the dark.”

“Great. Just how I want my night to end” Danny grumbled as he took the bottle. “Because this day has been so fantastic otherwise.”

Steve ignored the bitching as he gathered everything. He knew it was just Danny's way of dealing and he wasn't expected to answer. He placed the candles around the room and lit them just as the power flickered one last time before going out.

“How romantic.”

Steve snorted as he walked back over to the couch. “Only the best for my Danno” he said as he gently lifted Danny's legs, sliding underneath them and sitting down.

“You do realize there's a chair over there.” Danny's voice sounded a bit odd, but Steve chose to ignore it. If Danny really didn't want him sitting there, he'd make it known very clearly.

“I can't see you very well if I'm all the way over there” Steve replied as he leaned forward to grab the ice pack and his beer off the coffee table. He carefully arranged the pack on Danny's knee, frowning at the swelling that was very apparent. “You need to see a doctor.”

“In case you hadn't noticed, there's a freaking hurricane outside. Baring life threatening injuries...and with you, that's a distinct possibility...I don't think a trip to the hospital is going to happen.”

“It's not a hurricane, Danny. It's just a storm. And I didn't mean now. I just meant tomorrow or something.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know” Danny said, gently shoving Steve with his foot. “I was just trying to get that look off your face.”

Steve shook his head. “You and my looks...”

“Well I happen to like your looks, but that's another topic.” Danny paused for a moment before speaking again. “And I can't believe I just said that.”

Steve let out a surprised laugh as he looked up at Danny's face. The man had his eyes closed, head resting against the back of the couch. Was Danny saying he liked his expressions, or that he... “I'm not exactly sure how to take that” he said with a smile before taking a long swallow of beer.

Danny waved a hand in Steve's direction, not opening his eyes. “Take it as you will, but I'm blaming the drugs and alcohol if you ever repeat it.”

Steve grinned as he gently patted Danny on the leg. “Whatever you say.” Neither man commented when Steve left his hand where it was.

Steve sipped at his beer as the quiet stretched between them. For the first time in...well...ever, he really wanted to talk. About everything that happened with him, everything that was happening with Danny, the attraction he was pretty sure they were both feeling but avoiding like the plague. But he had no idea where or even how to start.

“Smoke is going to start pouring out of your ears soon.”

“I'm sorry?” Steve said, startled by Danny's voice.

“Stop thinking so hard.”

Steve took a long drink of his beer as he considered his words. “I want to talk, but I have no idea where to start” he admitted quietly.

“Well. What do you want to talk about?” Suddenly, Danny sounds just a little more awake.

“Me. You. Us.” Might as well lay it all out there, right? “I'm worried about you. I know you're not sleeping and I know you're having nightmares when you do. I think that maybe if I tell you what happened with Wo Fat, it might...”

“No. Just stop right there” Danny said as he wiggled around to sit up a little straighter. “I can tell you right now that hearing the details of your torture isn't going to help me. Not that I wouldn't be willing to listen if you needed to talk about it, but...” he sighed and ran his hand roughly over his face. “You want to know what my nightmares are about?”

Steve was pretty damn sure he didn't. But he needed to know so he had some kind of clue as to how to help Danny. “Yeah” he said roughly, looking over at Danny. “I do.”

Danny took a long drink of water before leaning over to set the bottle on the table. He settled back against the pillows and took a deep breath. He wouldn't look at Steve as he started to speak.

“Every single time I fall asleep...” he paused and took another breath as he closed his eyes. “I watch you die. North Korea, Afghanistan, Wo Fat...all those times you almost didn't make it? Yeah, well, in my nightmares, you don't. And it's so fucking real. It feels so real! Every time, I'm holding you as you die...begging you not to leave me...but you do anyway. And now I'm terrified to go to sleep, because I can't...I just can't...” he finally looked up at Steve, bright eyes shining in the candlelight.

Steve's stomach twisted at the sheer anguish in Danny's voice. “Jesus, Danny. Come here” he whispered roughly around the lump in his throat, before pushing the man's legs off his lap and pulling him up into a hug. He could feel Danny trembling violently against him as he buried his face in Steve's shoulder. He had known the nightmares were bad, but he hadn't expected this.

“I just lost Matty. I can't stomach the thought of losing you too. I just...I don't think I'd come back from that” Danny said quietly, his voice shaking.

Steve buried his face in Danny's hair, hiding the tears in his own eyes. “Not leaving you, Danno.”

“Promise?”

“Yeah, I promise.”

They both knew it wasn't a promise Steve could actually make. His job...hell, his life...was completely unpredictable. But right now, it was a promise they both needed.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, sorry about the delay in posting this. Today was my last day at a job I've had for 6 1/2 years, so this past week has been emotional....to say the least! So to celebrate the past and toast the future...and let's not forget a new season of Five-O!....I give you...smut! 
> 
> Thank you for all the words of encouragement you've given me since I started this little cliche of a story. You've made my journey back into writing a joy. I knew the McDanno fandom was awesome!

Danny clung to Steve as he tried to get his emotions under control. He never meant to tell him what his nightmares contained. But when Steve suggested telling him all that Wo Fat had done...well, Danny knew he wouldn't have been able to handle that. Not right now. Maybe not ever. Oh, he'd put on a brave face if Steve needed to talk about it, because he'd do anything for Steve, but he knew he'd completely lose it the minute he was alone. So he'd started talking. And once he started, he just couldn't stop.

Steve had sounded so broken when he'd pulled Danny up. And Danny knew his words weren't helping, but they just kept coming. He knew Steve's promise was bullshit. Neither of them could make a promise like that. But it felt damn good to hear, nonetheless.

After a couple of minutes, the shaking started to ease and he knew he needed to pull away. “Sorry” he said, clearing his throat. “Didn't mean to lose it, there.”

“Nothing to be sorry for” Steve replied softly. “I've got you, Danno.”

Okay, and now he was going to lose it again. “Steve...” he said brokenly. “God...”

“Whoa, hey, it's okay” Steve said as he started shifting around. “Come on. Let's get more comfortable. This has to be killing your knee.”

Once Danny realized what Steve was trying to do, he protested. “Steve, really. We don't have to...”

“Don't argue with the boss” was Steve's reply as he maneuvered them around until they were both laying on the couch, Danny's head resting on Steve's shoulder.

“You're using the boss card now? In this position?” Danny squirmed around until he was comfortably set on his side, back against the couch and one leg thrown over Steve's. “Somehow, I don't think that's wise.”

Steve tightened his arms around Danny once again, holding him in place. “Wanna file a complaint?”

“No, no. I'm good” Danny said quickly. Because holy shit, he was good. Better than good. There wasn't even a word for just how good this was. He could feel his body relaxing, practically melting into Steve's. Jesus, he was so screwed.

“What can I do to help” Steve asked quietly after a few minutes. “I'd do anything, you know that, right?”

“Yeah, I know. I think this is a pretty good start.” He definitely wasn't thinking of the dreams anymore. Though at this point, he was doing math calculations in his head to distract himself from the fact that he was pressed head to toe against Steve. Unfortunately, he sucked at math and his body didn't give a damn how many times eight went into one hundred and fifty-two. “Probably a really bad idea, though.”

“Hmm” was all Steve replied as he loosened his hold, slowly ran his hand down Danny's side, across his hip and lightly gripped the back of Danny's thigh. “Are you sure?” he whispered roughly as he pulled Danny tight against him.

“Fuck” Danny moaned quietly as his growing erection was pressed hard against Steve's hip. “If you're trying to distract me, it's working.”

“Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?”

Danny couldn't help but laugh as he smacked Steve's chest. “Bad Steve! Bad!” He could feel more than hear Steve's laugh in response.

“Sorry. Couldn't help it” and Danny could actually hear the smile in his voice. “Just so you know” he said, placing his hand on top of Danny's and moving it down his body “You're not the only one.” He hissed when Danny's hand made contact with his own hard cock through the fabric of his board shorts.

“Good to know” Danny said roughly as he wrapped his fingers around Steve's erection and stroked him through the fabric. The groan Steve let out sent a shot of pure lust straight to Danny's groin. “Still probably a bad idea.”

“Don't care” Steve said, suddenly shifting until he could reach Danny's mouth with his own. As he plundered Danny's mouth, he maneuvered around until he was laying on top, their hard cocks lining up just right.

“Steve...god...” Danny breathed, tearing his mouth away as the sensations overwhelmed him. His body was on fire...every inch of contact with Steve burning through his clothes. But as tightly as they were pressed together, it wasn't enough. He wanted... _needed_...to be closer...more... _something!_ He wrapped his legs around Steve's thighs, ignoring the pain in his knee. He thrust up, grinding hard against the man above him, drowning in the sounds it pulled from Steve's throat.

“Jesus, Danny” Steve groaned, burying his face in Danny's neck. “God...you have no idea...” He rolled his hips slowly, like he was trying to prolong the pleasure. “Wanted this...”

“Yeah babe, me too” Danny breathed as he ran his hands up under Steve's shirt. “Didn't think...oh fuck...Steve...” He shuddered hard as Steve nipped at his neck, his arousal spiking at the sharp points of pain/pleasure it was causing. He moved against the man above him, their hips finding a rhythm that found him close to the edge in a matter of minutes.

Steve found his mouth once again, kissing him hard enough to make his head spin even more. Danny's hands couldn't stop moving, mapping every inch of Steve's back, feeling the muscles rolling under the skin like waves. His touch became firmer the closer he got, until he was running his nails across Steve's skin, causing goosebumps to raise along Steve's back.

Danny tore his mouth away from Steve's, gasping as he felt his release building. “Steve...fuck...gonna cum if we don't stop...”

“Yeah, me too. So close...not stopping...” Steve panted into Danny's neck, moving his hips faster. “Danny...oh god...yes...fuck yes.” Steve cried out Danny's name one more time before his body froze. He muffled a moan into Danny's neck as his release hit him, his body shuddering hard.

That was all it took for Danny to lose it. His back arched as he cried out, vision going black as the overwhelming pleasure washed over him. He clung to Steve as the sensations rocked his body, his heart pounding in his ears.

They both lay quietly, trying to catch their breath as they came back down. For Danny it was a little more difficult, what with a hundred and eighty pound SEAL on his chest, but he wasn't complaining. In fact, when Steve tried to move, he tightened his arms around the other man's back, not letting him leave.

“No. Stay. Just for a minute. Please” he whispered. He wasn't ready to let go. Not yet. He felt Steve relax back into him, lips pressed against his shoulder.

“Right here, Danno” Steve said, his voice rough. “Not leaving.”

Danny pressed his face against Steve's neck, still not quite believing this was all real. If he really wanted to admit it to himself, he'd been in love with Steve for a long damn time. But since he thought for sure he didn't have a shot in hell with the guy, he'd buried the feelings as best he could. Now he couldn't help but wonder how much time they'd wasted.

“How long?” he asked after a while, running his hands up and down Steve's back.

Steve nuzzled into Danny's neck for a moment, causing Danny to shudder, before raising himself up on his elbows. He searched Danny's face before leaning down to kiss him softly. “A while” he answered. “A lot longer than I realized, probably. You?”

Danny huffed out a laugh. “Years” he answered. “We're both idiots. You know that, right?”

Steve grinned at him in the soft candlelight. “So you keep telling me. Just means we have a lot of time to make up for.”

Danny groaned as he pulled Steve back down on top of him. “Sleep, Steven. Right now all we need to make up for is lost sleep!”

Steve chuckled as he scooted around until he wasn't crushing Danny quite so much. He threw a leg over Danny's hip and wrapped his arms tightly around him. “Whatever you say, Danno.”

“Ugh! We need to get cleaned up first!” Danny protested even as he snuggled up against Steve and closed his eyes. Just a few minutes wouldn't hurt.

**

Steve smiled when he felt Danny go boneless against him. While he didn't think Danny's nightmares would just magically disappear now, he knew he'd be right there to erase any pain they caused. 

They'd heal each others wounds, one night at a time.

End

  
  



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